The Ladybird Book of How it Works: The Wife

The PERFECT GIFT for your long-suffering wife or prospective bride. Or, for any fool of a husband or seriously deluded groom-to-be who hasn't yet understood what he's signed up for.

"Tina is getting married. It is the best day of her life.

Next year, she will claim that becoming a mother was the best day of her life, but only because she was on some very strong drugs.

Neither is true. The best day of her life was on her eighth birthday, when she got a yellow bike."

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"The wife likes surprises.

Her favourite sort is a surprise birthday party.

It is the husband's job to organise this surprise for her, and to keep her informed of every detail about it."